Stress is creeping up my neck these days. I am growing crankier and suffering an increasingly serious nervous breakdown day by day. My EQ is dropping at a tremendously high speed. This is evident from how I comminicate with my project group members.

1. Research Methods email : I sort of reprimanded everyone in the team for not responding to my request to validate the survey I constructed. Oh man... Its not that I didn't know that everyone were weighed down by hell lots of work and I demanded for research methods to be the top priority. I just couldn't phrase the email in the right way and it definitely came across as reprimanding people. What I intended to say was for them to just spend a couple of minutes to perhaps 1 hour time to go through the survey and tell me whats bad about it so that we could improve it and avoid any chance of sending them all out and to find out at the end of the day, the respondents didn't even understood the questions and they did the questions any-o-how. I don't know... as in 1 hour time to evaluate something out of the time you have to do other more important stuff is reasonable to me. But somehow, I empahsized the negative more than the positive and it came across as me reprimanding my team members as irresponsible. OMG!!!! I honestly didn't mean that you all were irresponsible, as we went through the proposal stage which everyone worked equally hard and exercise more than what each of us were responsible for. Oh man... I am so baddd...

2. AB214 DasTell call centre case study: We were all in teams of four to discuss about the case and do a presentation based on the task given. The task was to persuade a group of audience into buying your idea of proposing a specific e-learning course for the agents of the call centre. So one team member said that he feels that we should just generally state the attributes of a e-learning programme and say that we will like create the online or electronic software in house, i.e. by the company itself. And I don't know what medicine I eat today that I went to like say in a very derogative way: " the task says a specific e-learning programme. I think we should find a specific one and compare to various others and tell the audience we chose this because it fits the organisation well and address the issues of the case. To say that we design our own software, it doesn't make sense. In the first place, in your organisation, there are no people with knowledge to like impart the correct skills to the agents thats why they get complains and this calls for a change in training programmes. Hence, I don't see your point in asking your own people to design a training software when they don't even have the knowlegde." OMG!!! trust me to rebute my own team mate like as though I am in a debate and it definitely sounded hostile and suggestive that he is not making sense. OMG!!! Where is my EQ!!! Subsequently, the same person suggested some other very off stuffs and another team member obviously had the smae view point that he was full of crap that doesn't help at all. But in the end, the wrong medicine was acting up on me again and I put off his crap AGAIN in a derogative fashion. And the other team member was like ya I was thinking of that too. OMG!!! I bet he felt very upset that I keep on attacking and putting off his ideas. I am so baddd...

Hence, its reflection time. I think I should starting exercising the use of passive language to lessen the impact of my authoritative and negative style of communicating with others. Obviously from these incidents, you can guess that my AB114 and AB214 is quite chui because I cannot deliver a message with the "YOU" attitude. I am so "I" centered! OMG!!! I am self centred. Okie... so I need to learn.

Meanwhile, I am still freaking out becuase sat is the taxation quiz. And somehow, it just seem that the rules are neverending and you study one and you forget the other. OMG! OKie... Time to sleep... wake up tml to study again. =] Jiayou to me...