The first part of today was very gloomy as I was stressed and frustrated with my PA, and the research methods final presentation.

Firstly, the PA was worrying. I didn't get phase 1, I didn't get phase 2. I was devastated!! I was angry! I felt unjust! PA selection shouldn't be on a random basis. How can you allocate a job based on random selection? So I felt unjust. I was devastated because I felt that I didn't deserved to be a student who couldn't clinch any PA during phase 1 and phase 2. Phase 1 didn't get, so be it. Phase 2 didn't get. Is like really... I cannot swallow my pride. Seriously. I believe in myself and my capabilities. I don't only have good grades, I do have other skills which I am confident will be suitable for the jobs I applied in Phase 2. Although, there were people who were out there who looked down and put me down by saying that I am lousy, I must say these people don't know much about me. I am confident about the skills set and knowledge I have as a BAF student, its just that I don't display it out and I am not in any of the competitive mode to show that I can reach a level of competency that is on par with these pro people who looked down on me. I am not trying to be hao lian. But I just feel that I am not the worst and I am not as bad as what people think I am. So... I felt very upset when I couldn't get my PA even in phase 2. It just a confirming evidence bias for these people who looked down on me to further their projection of my competencies and capbilities as the lowest in their scale. The bottomline is these people sucks and NTU CAO sucks big time. Full stop.

So I had to resort to Phase 3. And Phase 3 sucks as much as phase 2. It is first come first serve basis and within a span of less than 1 min, all positions were gone. How lucky can BAF students get? Luckily, Abner reminded me that I am able to change my specialization for my PA. So I changed my specialization to accountancy and I found alot of positions. One of which is an executive assistant in the corporate finance department of Singapore Computer System Limited. So I applied for it. Of course to the very pro people, they may be laughing at me again as I was not admitted to any big banks for PA. Oh whatever... I will never fall... I will prove to these people I am capable and competent. Its a motivation to work hard for my exams. I will excel in studies and I will excel in the future. End of the PA saga.

Research methods final presentation came. I was half prepared. My presentation style dipped. I failed to maintain rapport and eye contact with the audience 40% of the time which is bad. Because during AB214 lesson, I maintain 95% eye contact and rapport with the audience and I got a really good grade of 5/6 for my group presentation task. So today's presentation was quite bad according to my own presentation standards. Nevertheless, our project was so comprehensive and we had put in so so so much effort in making it work, we were awarded a A+ for our presentation. I am very happy about that. Our efforts paid off. But as a leader of the team, I have learnt alot about leading a team and I know that I need to sharpen my leadership skills as I recognise that I cannot lead well in many aspects. So I know I need to improve much on my leadership skills, especially essential soft skills and emotions management. Haha... Lastly, I would like to thank my team members Jiahui, Mindy, Lee Peng and Sze Teng for the support, help and effort that was offered to me during the course of executing the project and accepting my domineering views and instructions. They really "carry on... and make it work..." for me. Haha... My team will know the significance of the phrase which I always use during meetings. Haha...