I haven't blogged for days... So here I am again... to blog... some emo stuff... Haha...

I shall start with an ass pissing, fucking irresistibly annoying and hell bloody disappointing experience with someone whom I thought was quite a good friend with me or perhaps someone I regarded as a good friend. At the end of the day, the bottomline is still friends come and go, when they need you they come and when you cease to be able to give what they want they go. Don't we all committ this very mistake to our precious friends? I admit I do sometimes, but I tell myself not to be like this. Because tested and proven it generates lots of disappointment, sadness, and ill feelings.

So back to the tear jerking saga for me. Maybe to many of you all reading this, you all think its a trivial matter but to me it was really very sad and disappointing. So he asked if I had past year taxation quiz paper. I said I don't have. He laughed at me and I asked him to share with me so that we can all practise together and compare answers and learn together. He said something really bad to me... But the essence of it was pure selfishness. He said he couldn't share that piece of paper with me and something else which really pierce my heart. Till this point stop thinking I am gay or wad... I am not... And what he said which pierced my heart, I am not gonna say it here but the point is... aren't we all friends? When I have something useful I share with you, when I make notes I count you in and I photocopy every single sheet for you as a reference. And you never share things with me. When you are low morale, I try to talk you round although with vulgarities and insensitive wordings but it was all for the benefit of sparking your confidence again and helping you stand up again. But in the end, I realised I am nothing. Am I all stupid or am I just too kind that people climb all over my head?

I was disappointed, angry and sad. I expressed strong emotions in my msn personal message as usual. Shortly after, many friends asked me what happened. I am happy that many people care and are concerned with me. Finally, I know who are the real friends and who are the fake ones. The realities of life. We need to be cautious with people who try to act as though they are your friends but in actual fact they aren't. But again, maybe my definition of a friend is too restrictive - i.e. they musn't be selfish to me.

However, we all see in dramas... friends turn selfish because of competition. Especially when the other party is afraid that you may surpass him. This is especially the case for this saga. People think that I am smart, so if they share things with me I will make use of the thing more than they do and excel far much better than they do, hence turning selfish towards me. It is just weird how I won't feel and do this to other people. I share and if you excel or surpass me... So be it. That means its fair competition and you are smarter than me right? Oh well... I never understand the rationale behind competitiveness... A true heart will get you further than being narrow minded, selfish and competitive. After all, academic results aren't everything. Although I am very particular in getting good grades, I know that what is more important is a true and sincere heart.

Just like all my past work experience, it was dull, repetitive and simple job. I didn't do it perfectly well, but i fostered good relations with everyone. Till now, DBS VP stills calls me sometimes and ask me to go back and assist him. My team members for CPF GST offset package still remembers who I am now and calls me to ask me for advice. Its not because I had very good performance, its not because I am zai, but its because I do things and treat everyone with a true heart, with sincerity at work.

Thats all the emo-ness I had some time back... Haha...

Today marks the start of the recess week. I have started on my negative message for AB214 and thats the only thing I have done so far. Thats very bad. I have two quizzes coming up after recess week. 1 Board meeting which requires alot of coordination and I don't know how because I don't know alot of people in the Board. Hahaha...Of course, the recess week is for us to rest and I am gonna make sure i get enough rest but at the same time study enough to excel in my quizzes.

Going for Credit Suisse aptitude test on Tuesday. I hope I do well so that I will get an interview and get the job!!! Wooohhhooooo~ Hahaha... RHB Bank's results is not out yet. I applied for UBS operations also. But no news. Hahaha... Oh well... Hahaha... Patience. =]